How To Talk To Someone with Cancer ... or not - (repost from FB)

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There’s often talk about what not to say to someone with cancer. The focus is always on words, talking, speaking... but what about just listening?
Listen to how scared your friend is. Acknowledge it. Let them know it’s likely normal and that their feelings are valid.
This is a super scary and blindsiding diagnosis with a super shit prognosis, especially not having surgery.
I’m terrified, angry, anxious, stressed, lonely, sad... all I want is to talk to someone about how I’m feeling.
I can’t take on your issues, but you know I will. I’m too tired for a visit, but I’ll let you come anyway. Sometimes I don’t have a choice and it’s flung upon me. Sometimes it’s a welcome surprise and other times I just want to run away.
I appreciate the concern. All cancer patients do. But I am too tired to put on my social hat. I am too depressed to smile for you. Forcing it makes me even more tired. So please don’t make me do it anymore.
All I want is for someone to listen to me, to talk to me about how I’m feeling, how I’m coping. Some will say turn to god and pray.
Well that’s alright if it works for you but I want real human connection right here and now. I can count on one hand the people I speak to daily who aren’t my family.
When I’m up at 4am from pain, dreading the lack of sleep I’ll be getting that day, all I want is to have someone to talk to.
I write this now as I’m exhausted and extremely stressed. I am so done. With all of this. I hate feeling this way and I want it to be over.

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