Dreamy Warrior

I never thought I'd make friends once we moved to LA. It was such a lonely town and any friends we did make, we didn't see for months at a time because everyone's schedules never matched up. Eventually I turned my hand back to Twitch streaming, something I had previously tried and quit within days due to how difficult it is for women to put themselves out there on the internet. Exposed. But expose myself I did again this time, heart and soul. I told people about my health issues, physical and mental. And they in turn, opened back up to me. We built a community that became a safe space for many people. So much so that I got messages from people that I helped them feel "seen" and that's all some people want. I had hoped to build something like what I did, but I never expected what I got. I got so much more. I got friends, family, soulmates. Generous people who helped pay for my medical bills, generous people who spend time making art or finding music for me ...

A year ago, we saw Hamilton the musical. The major theme in the storytelling was legacy, and how different people try to achieve it. One had fiery passion and drive, while another believed about waiting for the right moment. I related hard to both views. More so the latter. Typical Pisces, always having opposing currents pulling at their insides. I had strong passions but I am also too practical for my own good. I was worried I wouldn’t leave much of a legacy so I worked on writing and completing a book (done), finishing a screenplay/tv pilot script (20% of the way but unlikely to finish) and other harebrained dreams, hoping I would get recognition or happiness from them. In the end, I never achieved anything except some small feeling of accomplishment and a tiny boost in my drive to do more. That’s when I fell into twitch streaming. I strived to create a community for people struggling with mental health issues, the LGBTQ+ community, women, people of colour and people on the au...