Dreamy Warrior (FIRST blog post - read me first!)

What constitutes a warrior? Is it someone who is always willing to jump into the fray, no holds barred? Is it someone who continues to fight even when all hope is lost? Is it someone who refuses to give up in the face of inconceivable odds?

The word warrior is used a lot in the cancer world. Battle. Fight. Like we're soldiers marching into war against the big beast that is cancer. I refuse to think this way. It's a personal choice and I begrudge nobody their choice to refer to themselves as warriors. I'm a warrior too, but I'm not a fighter. I'm a dreamer.

I like to fall into a land of mystery and whimsy, where nothing bad ever happens. Getting the picture yet?

So being a fighter? Not really my thing. I don't consider my 'fight' with cancer a battle. It's just something that I unfortunately have to go through and it may limit my lifetime (aka kill me dead sooner than later).

But being a dreamer also means I hope a lot. I hope I have many years left in me. And if I don't? I hope I get to go peacefully in my own bed.

This blog is something I wasn't sure about starting, but I think it's important to have a place where others can find a like minded friend in the space of the internet. You never know who could be looking for answers too.

There will be "fresh" posts in addition to backdated/reblogged posts from a private Facebook group where I keep my friends and family updated on my treatment progress. My thoughts are uncensored but there are still some things I'd rather keep more private, which is why the group will remain closed after I'm gone.

But this blog will be here for all to read. It will mostly be word vomit - and be full of the ugly side of cancer. I was inspired by Lisa Magill (Terminally Fabulous) - who also had stomach cancer but sadly passed away after fighting it for over 4 years. I was also inspired by Joe McClenahan whose partner reached out to me not long after his passing from a similar cancer to mine. These are people who fought hard and didn't hold back the ugly truth.

I don't know how hard I want to fight, but I promise you when it comes to talking shit about cancer, I ain't going to hold back. I just hope this blog helps raise awareness about stomach cancer, especially in younger people. So many of us are being diagnosed across the world (I have so many in my support groups online who are the same age or younger) -- it's no longer an "old person's" cancer. We need earlier screenings and more research into immunotherapy and genetics and finding out how the different stomach cancers react to treatment.

There are so many kinds of stomach cancers - I won't get into it now but I will in other posts. This was meant to be an introduction to the blog but here I am, rambling away. Be prepared for a lot of this. I figure if I'm going to die sooner than envisioned, I might as well have all my mind spew out there for my loved ones and strangers alike to see. A legacy of word vomit, haha.