Reconnecting old ties and estranged friends

I've had many relationships with people in my 34 years of life. Not necessarily the romantic kind - just something deeper than mere friendship. I guess you could say I found many soul mates along the way. People whose company you craved everyday, and together you grew into a fearsome pair that couldn't be knocked down. Yet, like so many stories before us, knocked down we were. Chopped down by society's demands or a mother's wishes. Misunderstandings and hormones went flying, awful words hurled and tears jerked. Friendships lost. Hearts broken. I lived for many years with regret over some of these missing connections - and it took me being diagnosed with terminal cancer for us to reconnect. I guess that's one of the few good things I can thank the goddamn cancer for - it's bringing people back into my life. My sister started a Facebook group (where the reblogs come from) so that people could stay updated with my treatments and that we didn't have to message 30 different people everyday. It turned into something more - people I barely knew wanted to follow my story. I started to get to know new people who were part of the extended Twitch community. They just wanted to get to know me. So I post about myself, who I am, and write a mini biography of sorts. I may even reblog some of them on here, I may not. I guess it'll depend on my mood. Some days I just want to make word vomit. Today is one of those days. BUT, I did have a point before the word vomit. Reconnection. One of my friends said she saw a mutual friend post my gofundme link and it made her collapse on the stairs in despair. Knowing that she still cared that much broke my heart all over again. We spoke for hours about our lost friendship, what happened between us and the good times we will always treasure. Without saying it, we knew we would never regain the friendship we once had - but we both knew we were better people for having had it at all. So I want to thank all of you, all the friends I've reconnected with. I love you and I thank you for the friendship and experiences we've shared. A part of me will always be because of who you are in my life. There are some friends who remain slightly estranged as they're unsure what to say to me - that's fine. What do you say to a dying friend? Even the ones who are up to date and not estranged don't know what to say to me. "Let's meet up for lunch" they say to a stage 4 stomach cancer patient. Not the brightest star in the skies these ones. It's not that I can't do lunch - it's that eating has become an incredibly increasingly isolating situation for me. I won't get into it now. I'll get back to estranged friends. Yes, thank you. I'm glad we found closure before I shuffle off this mortal coil. I never thought I'd need it so badly but it actually healed a part of me I never knew was still broken.

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