Stomach Cancer Awareness Month
This month is apparently stomach cancer awareness month. Did you know about stomach cancer before I got diagnosed or whatever reason you've come across this blog? Did you know anything about it? Did you know the ribbon colour for it is periwinkle? Did you know that most people don't get diagnosed until it's a late stage?
There are so many different kinds of stomach cancers - you'll hear about them in support groups. Diffused gastric adenocarcinoma. Linitis Plastica. Signet Ring Cell Carcinoma. And sometimes if you're lucky like me, you have a little bit of all of the above. Mainly the first kind- diffused poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma. It translates to "You're fucked."
They say one of the symptoms of stomach cancer is nausea. What the fuck? People get nauseated often - they don't automatically think "Oh shit maybe I have stomach cancer." I didn't show any major symptoms until March of this year when I started getting a pain in my sternum when I ate. It would feel like food was stuck and a lot of water would help "push" it down but it would fucking hurt.
It got chalked up to heartburn or gastritis by doctors. If you have similar pains - go get blood tests and a gastroscopy done. Actually fuck the blood tests because I did blood tests and barium swallows and they said "The good news is it's not cancer!" They thought I had achalasia - a rare swallowing disorder. For the 3 days that I thought this was my diagnosis, I was despondent. I didn't want to get dilations or cut my esophageal muscles!
Oh how I wish all it was now was achalasia. But no, a gastroscopy later and surreal meeting with my soon to be GI surgeon told me it was cancer. So off I went to get a PET and CT done to see just how much cancer I had.
Turned out I had lots. It had spread to many lymph nodes, including the one in my neck that showed up in the months I was chasing answers to my swallowing pain. Dr Google did tell me it could have been gastric cancer but I thought - no way, I don't have any of the other symptoms!
This is why every country needs to follow Japan and Korea's example and get early screenings! This isn't an "old person"'s cancer like many thought. I have met and learned of many people in their 20s and 30s being diagnosed, and dying, from this nasty beast.
I'm 34 and stage 4 ... that's not right. How did this happen? Will I really die before I hit 40? What the fuck.
So yeah, spread the word - we need more funding for research and trials. I can only hope that I live long enough to get "cured" but I honestly don't know if I can stand to keep chasing new treatments like others my age have. They kept fighting to the very end, and they suffered immensely.
I want to live days of quality where I don't feel foggy, sick and miserable - and as I get more tired, I'll know it's the cancer shutting my body down. I want to die at home, comfortable and loved and peacefully. Not in an ICU with tubes and tape and needles coming out of me.
I'm fucking terrified. I try so hard not to think of how I'll die - but how can I not when I'm in pain or discomfort and people I meet in support groups end up dying? I feel I was never given a fighting chance because we found the cancer so late. It spread so fucking far to the point that my surgeon even said he wouldn't recommend surgery because of how extensive it would have to be.
So I might be fucked... but other people don't have to be if we can spread more awareness about symptoms and early screenings. SO SPREAD IT! Spread it the way the cancer spread across my body.
There are so many different kinds of stomach cancers - you'll hear about them in support groups. Diffused gastric adenocarcinoma. Linitis Plastica. Signet Ring Cell Carcinoma. And sometimes if you're lucky like me, you have a little bit of all of the above. Mainly the first kind- diffused poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma. It translates to "You're fucked."
They say one of the symptoms of stomach cancer is nausea. What the fuck? People get nauseated often - they don't automatically think "Oh shit maybe I have stomach cancer." I didn't show any major symptoms until March of this year when I started getting a pain in my sternum when I ate. It would feel like food was stuck and a lot of water would help "push" it down but it would fucking hurt.
It got chalked up to heartburn or gastritis by doctors. If you have similar pains - go get blood tests and a gastroscopy done. Actually fuck the blood tests because I did blood tests and barium swallows and they said "The good news is it's not cancer!" They thought I had achalasia - a rare swallowing disorder. For the 3 days that I thought this was my diagnosis, I was despondent. I didn't want to get dilations or cut my esophageal muscles!
Oh how I wish all it was now was achalasia. But no, a gastroscopy later and surreal meeting with my soon to be GI surgeon told me it was cancer. So off I went to get a PET and CT done to see just how much cancer I had.
Turned out I had lots. It had spread to many lymph nodes, including the one in my neck that showed up in the months I was chasing answers to my swallowing pain. Dr Google did tell me it could have been gastric cancer but I thought - no way, I don't have any of the other symptoms!
This is why every country needs to follow Japan and Korea's example and get early screenings! This isn't an "old person"'s cancer like many thought. I have met and learned of many people in their 20s and 30s being diagnosed, and dying, from this nasty beast.
I'm 34 and stage 4 ... that's not right. How did this happen? Will I really die before I hit 40? What the fuck.
So yeah, spread the word - we need more funding for research and trials. I can only hope that I live long enough to get "cured" but I honestly don't know if I can stand to keep chasing new treatments like others my age have. They kept fighting to the very end, and they suffered immensely.
I want to live days of quality where I don't feel foggy, sick and miserable - and as I get more tired, I'll know it's the cancer shutting my body down. I want to die at home, comfortable and loved and peacefully. Not in an ICU with tubes and tape and needles coming out of me.
I'm fucking terrified. I try so hard not to think of how I'll die - but how can I not when I'm in pain or discomfort and people I meet in support groups end up dying? I feel I was never given a fighting chance because we found the cancer so late. It spread so fucking far to the point that my surgeon even said he wouldn't recommend surgery because of how extensive it would have to be.
So I might be fucked... but other people don't have to be if we can spread more awareness about symptoms and early screenings. SO SPREAD IT! Spread it the way the cancer spread across my body.
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