No Final Words
I wish I could leave everyone with personalised letters or words of wisdom. But at this stage, all I want to do is sleep. I'm so tired, so out of it. So sick of food. Sick of reflux. Sick of pain. I can't go on. I've spoken to the doctors and I've decided ultimately that I will not continue with anti-cancer treatment. No more chemo. Maybe some radiation to keep my esophagus open. But we'll see. We may not need it. I don't know if I'm close to death, or how close I am to it - all I know is I'm just done. No need for sad goodbyes or teary hugs. I'm okay. I'm ready. This all sucks beyond compare.... I never got a break to just "be". But now I get to sleep forever. That's not so bad. I've had a good life. I've seen a lot of art, seen many of my favourite musical artists live and travelled a little. I have no regrets, no complaints. Those are my only final words I guess. Such is life.